When I was young, there was no respect for youth.
Now there's no respect for the old.
I missed it both times!
Milton Berle
(or so he claims)
When you were a teenager, were you ever told, "Enjoy
this time, it's the best years of your life?" What a stupid thing to say.
Youth is wasted on the young, and for most people, youth is hardly the best
years of life.
Ours is a youth-obsessed culture,
demanding living in the now with youthful gusto. Who has time for lessons
learned and the wisdom that comes with age? Here's one example that only older
people know: All this excitement about legalizing marijuana is being fomented
by people who know nothing of the exhaustive social and scientific marijuana research
conducted in the 1930s and the harmful biological effects in the 1970s. Older scholars know about this, but younger
ones seem woefully uninformed and uninterested in "old" research.
Actually, that often applies to old research in all fields.
We are all going to get old,
assuming we don't die first. Our friends, relatives, and loved ones are or will
get old. As baby boomers retire, older people are coming to dominate the
population. Modern medicine and the wide pursuit of healthier living styles
have enabled many older people to live longer and remain vigorous and
productive in their old age. Yet, in this country and many other Western
countries, we shun, neglect, and sometimes abuse the old. This is the theme of
a recent blog by the CEO of a medical products company, Sue Chen.
Chen contends that as people age,
others lose interest in engaging with them. A recent National Research Council
study indicated that older adults are stigmatized as a group. Older people are
treated like old people in social groups and in the workplace. Less is expected
of seniors. Seniors in turn expect less of themselves. Chen asserts that
younger people shun the elderly and don't want to think about aging because
they are afraid of their own impending aging. They know that older people
become more socially isolated and that the loneliness is magnified when divorce
or death causes the loss of a spouse. Children are unintentionally conditioned
to have negative bias about older people. Young families often shut out older
parents, aunts, and uncles. We seem to have abandoned the "extended
family" concept that was so wholesomely dominant only a few decades ago.
Fear of further aging and being
sick and lonely grows with each passing year. Fear of aging is unwarranted, at
least for healthy seniors with sufficient retirement income. Actually, one's
later years can be the best years of life. Helen Hayes, at age 73, said
"The hardest years are between 10 and 70." Paul Meyer, upon reaching
70, claimed that "Life begins at 70." By that time we all have
accumulated a "rich reserve" of life experiences and lessons learned.
He tries to do all the things he has always done. He points out some of the
many advantages of old age, such as people expecting less of you. What you do
accomplish makes a bigger impression because it isn't expected. At 70 you have
more choices. You can act your age or act young. You can do things you didn't
have time for in the past, particularly "smelling the roses." You can
take naps without feeling guilty. You feel less guilty about the way you raised
your kids, because now they know just how hard raising kids is and are having
many of the same difficulties and angst as you did. Time becomes precious,
because it is running out. You therefore spend it more wisely. You don't waste
time on harmful emotions or personal animosities.
Now at 81, my experience is
consistent with what Hayes and Meyer concluded. I am, even though semi-retired, more efficient
and almost as productive in my profession as when I "retired."
Amazingly, I have discovered more free time to work. And now, I get to do what
I want to do, not what others want me to do. But the biggest advantage of aging,
as I see it, is that older people have typically learned more about how to cope
with disappointment and adversity and how to squeeze the sweet and good juice
out of life.
In the absence of debilitating
sickness, aging can be a great blessing. There are many things people can and
should be doing to make the senior years the best years of their lives. These
include eating well, exercising frequently and vigorously, constructing a
positive emotional attitude, becoming more active in mental and social life, getting
frequent medical checkups, and most of all I think, living with an honorable
purpose.
To know more about
aging well, check out my e-book, Improve Your Memory for a Healthy Brain.
Memory Is the Canary in Your Brain's Coal Mine, available at Smashwords.com.
My "Improve Learning and Memory" blog is at
http://thankyoubain.blogspot.com.
Sources:
http://www.oxfordscholarship.com/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780195138931.001.0001/acprof-9780195138931-chapter-4.
Accessed Oct. 17, 2015.
Chen, Sue (2015). What you don't know about aging could kill
you. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hippo-reads/what-you-dont-know-about-_9_b_8091512.html
Meyer, Paul J. (2000). Making the rest the best. Chicken
Soup for the Golden Soul. Deerfield Beach, Fl.: Health Communications. p. 480-486.
